Date: Fri, 1 Aug 2003 10:48:40 -0400
Reply-To: "Bosch, Jules [PRDUS Non J&J]" <JBosch1@PRDUS.JNJ.COM>
Sender: "SAS(r) Discussion" <SAS-L@LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
From: "Bosch, Jules [PRDUS Non J&J]" <JBosch1@PRDUS.JNJ.COM>
Subject: Re: Off-Topic: Friday Fun
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"The First Thing We Do,
Let's Kill All the Lawyers"
From: Bruce Johnson [mailto:bjohnson@SOLUCIENT.COM]
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2003 10:23 AM
Subject: Off-Topic: Friday Fun
Some insanity for Friday....
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual
Stella awards. The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella
Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds . That
case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits
in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat,
was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the
2003 awards list without question.
5th Place (Tied)-1
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms
5th Place (Tied)-2
Nineteen year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5th Place (Tied)-3
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house
he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get
the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a
case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
houseowner's insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little
provoked at the time as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the
yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke
her coccyx (tailbone) The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night
Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home
from an OU football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and
make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway,
crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the
owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him
$1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed
their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other !
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
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