----------------------------Original message----------------------------
Subject: airline anomalies (fwd)
 
>>Reservations of an Airline Agent
>>(After Surviving 130,000 Calls from the Traveling Public)
>>by Jonathan Lee -- The Washington Post
>>
>>I work in a central reservation office of an airline.  After more than
>>130,000 conversations--all ending with "Have a nice day and thanks for
>>calling"--I think it's fair to say that I'm a survivor.
>>
>>I've made it through all the calls from adults who didn't know the
>>difference between a.m. and p.m., from mothers of military recruits who
>>didn't trust their little soldiers to get it right, from the woman who
>>called to get advice on how to handle her teenage daughter, from the
>>man who wanted to  ride inside the kennel with his dog so he wouldn't
>>have to pay for a seat, from the woman who wanted to know why she had
>>to change clothes on our flight between Chicago and Washington (she was
>>told she'd have to make a change between the two cities) and from the
>>man who asked if I'd like to discuss  the existential humanism that
>>emanates from the soul of Habeeb.
>>
>>In five years, I've received more than a boot camp education regarding
>>the astonishing lack of awareness of our American citizenry.  This lack
>>of awareness encompasses every region of the country, economic status,
>>ethnic background, and level of education.  My battles have included
>>everything  from a man not knowing how to spell the name of the town he
>>was from, to another not recognizing the name as "Iowa" as being a
>>state, to another who thought he had to apply for a foreign passport to
>>fly to West Virginia.  They are  the enemy and they are everywhere.
>>
>>In the history of the world there has never been as much communication
>>and new things to learn as today.  Yet, after asking a woman from New
>>York what city she wanted to go to in Arizona, she asked, "Oh... is it
>>a big place?"
>>
>>I talked to a woman in Denver who had never heard of Cincinnati, a man
>>in Minneapolis who didn't know there was more than one city in the
>>South ("wherever the South is"), a woman in Nashville who asked,
>>"Instead of  paying for your ticket, can I just donate the money to the
>>National Cancer Society?", and a man in Dallas who tried to pay for his
>>ticket by sticking quarters in the pay phone he was calling from.
>>
>>I knew a full invasion was on the way when, shortly after signing on, a
>>man asked if we flew to exit 35 on the New Jersey Turnpike.  Then a
>>woman asked if we flew to area code 304.  And I knew I had been shipped
>>off to the front when I was asked, "When an airplane comes in, does
>>that mean it's arriving  or departing?"
>>
>>I remembered the strict training we had received--four weeks of
>>regimented classes on airline codes, computer technology, and telephone
>>behavior--and  it allowed for no means of retaliation.  "Troops," we
>>were told, "it's real  hell out there and ya got no defense.  You're
>>going to hear things so silly you can't even make 'em up.  You'll try
>>to explain things to your friends that you don't even believe yourself,
>>and just when you think you've heard it  all, someone will ask if they
>>can get a free round-trip ticket to Europe by reciting 'Mary Had a
>>Little Lamb."
>>
>>Well, Sarge was right.  It wasn't long before I suffered a direct hit
>>from a woman who wanted to fly to Hippopotamus, NY.  After assuring her
>>that there was no such city, she became irate and said it was a big
>>city with a big airport.  I asked if Hippopotamus was near Albany or
>>Syracuse. It wasn't. Then I asked if it was near Buffalo.  "Buffalo!"
>>she said. "I knew it was a big animal!"
>>
>>Then I crawled out of my bunker long enough to be confronted by a man
>>who tried to catch our flight in Maconga.  I told him I'd never heard
>>of Maconga and we certainly didn't fly to it.  But he insisted we did
>>and to prove it  he showed me his ticket:  Macon, GA. And I've done nothing
>>during my conversational confrontations to indicate that I couldn't
>>understand English.  But after I quote the round-trip fare the
>>passenger just asked for, he'll always ask: "...Is that round trip?"
>>After I quote the one-way fare the passenger just asked for, he'll
>>always, always ask: "...Is that one-way?"  I never understood why
>>they always question if what I just gave them is what they just
>>asked for.  Then I realized it was part of the hell Sarge told us about.
>>
>>But I've survived to direct the lost, correct the wrong, comfort the
>>wary, teach U.S. geography and give tutoring in the spelling and
>>pronunciation of American cities.  I have been told things like: "I
>>can't go stand-by for  your flight because I'm in a wheelchair."  I've
>>been asked such questions as: "I have a connecting flight to Knoxville.
>> Does that mean the plane sticks to something?"  And once a man wanted
>>to go to Illinois.  When I asked what  city he wanted to go to in
>>Illinois, he said, "Cleveland, Ohio."
>>
>>After 130,000 little wars of varying degrees, I'm a wise old veteran of
>>the communication conflict and can anticipate with accuracy what the
>>next move  by "them" will be.  Seventy-five percent won't have anything
>>to write on.  Half will not have thought about when they're returning.
>>A third won't know  where they're going;  10 percent won't care where
>>they're going.  A few won't care if they get back.  And James will be
>>the first name of half the men who  call.
>>
>>But even if James doesn't care if he gets to the city he never heard
>>of;  even if he thinks he has to change clothes on our plane that may
>>stick to something;  even if he can't spell, pronounce, or remember
>>what city he's returning to, he'll get there because I've worked very
>>hard to make sure  that he can.  Then with a click in the phone, he'll
>>become a part of my past and I'll be hoping the next caller at least
>>knows what day it is.
>>
>>Oh, and James... "Thanks for calling and have a nice day."
>>
 
 
 
 
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>Date: Wed, 16 Nov 1994 11:31:53 -0800 (PST)
>From: Walter Brem <[log in to unmask]>
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>Subject: airline anomalies (fwd)
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