---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 1998 10:59:49 -0600
From: Bill Thoen <[log in to unmask]>
To: Maps and Air Photo Systems Forum <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: Map humor (fwd)
 
"Cynthia M. Van Ness" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I'm giving a talk next month to our local genealogical society about
> maps in the library's collection, and I could use some jokes,
> one-liners, or even cartoons that feature maps.  Can anyone point me
> to sources, or even share some jokes?
 
The following comes from the archives of MapInfo-L, originally submitted
one Friday afternoon by our resident Dean of Fooles and Joculators:
 
- Bill Thoen
 
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From: "John H. Hoffmann" <[log in to unmask]> on 04/24/98 11:59 AM GMT
Subject: MI Friday Humor: Mappers . . .
 
Q. What is smarter, longitude or latitude?
A. Longitude, because it has 360 degrees
 
Q. What do a therapist and a cartographer have in common?
A. They both deal with projection
 
Q. What do you call a map showing the heights of leafy-stemmed
    perennial herbs measured in centimeters?
A. A daisy metric map
 
Q. Why do paper maps never win at poker?
A. Because they always fold.
 
Q. What kind of projection do 3 out of 4 ear, nose, and throat
specialists prefer?
A. A sinus-oidal map projection.
 
Q. What do you get when you cross a cowboy with a mapmaker?
A. A cow-tographer.
 
Q. Why didn?t true north date magnetic north?
A. She didn?t like his bearing.
 
Q. Why does west longitude need to be cheered up?
A. Because it is always negative.
 
Q. What do you call a man with a 1970?s Russian map in his hand?
A. Lost
 
Q. What do you call a globe-shaped bottle in which you grow plants?
A. Orbis terrarium
 
Q. What do a row of Bacardi bottles and a loxodrome have in common?
A. Both are rum (rhumb) lines.
 
Q. Why did the equator win the MVP (most valuable parallel) award at
    the Latitude Super Bowl?
A. Because it was a great circle.
 
Q. What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine?s Day?
A. A dozen compass roses.
 
Q. Why did the dot go to college?
A. Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol.
 
Q. Why weren?t there any parallels on the map?
A. Because the cartographer didn?t have any latitude in his map design.
 
Q. What do you call a USGS quadrangle with green water, blue forests,
    and all the names spelled backwards?
A. A topo-illogical map.
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