James Cheshire writes,
'The phrase I usually use on the customs label is: "Specimen Seashells; for
scientific use only; no commercial value". Of course, in most cases, this is
a lie, although in the case of the shells I'm sending to Hawaii, it's true.'

The key to understanding rules and regulations is to forget what you need
and think and consider what the official needs and thinks instead. The
official is there to prevent potentially disease-carrying organisms and
ecologically disastrous biota from entering the country. This is why they
are so alert to soil samples and to living plants and animals, especially
snails, some of which as you know can carry some pretty alarming diseases,
and others of which have gotten out of control. As citizens, we should be
glad that customs officials are trained to be alert when a visitor says that
their luggage contains 'snails.'

For purposes of alertness to disease vectors, we can translate Customs
English 'snail' to Conchological English 'living or recently dead gastropod,
generally freshwater or terrestrial.' The words 'fossil' and 'shell' don't
raise problems in most places, nor (sometimes) does the phrase 'scientific
specimen,' although it's best to get advice ahead of time from other
collectors in particular cases. So? Avoid the word 'snail.'

In the case of 'commercial value,' what they define as commercial is not the
same as what you would define as commercial, and your definition doesn't
matter when they are the ones whose jobs depend on following the rules. They
are much more interested in assessing the tax on seashells destined for
handicrafts (which is a fairly large business) than in the occasional
package of self-collected seashells (which may cost more to assess than the
government gains by taxing it). However, if you give officials a choice,
they will generally take the safest route, which is to assess the tax or
hold up the shipment. So it's a good idea to learn a little Customs English.
Don't lie, don't wink, and stay calm. Just do the best you can to help them
do their job, which after all is a pretty important one. I personally would
prefer if the Medfly, for instance, had remained in the Med, and don't mind
it a bit when tourists have their fruit confiscated at the border to prevent
the further spread of such problems.

The same kind of lesson applies to other situations: banks, colleges,
filling out forms for licenses... I sure have earned the hard way about
this. Anyway, it's worth the effort to 'put yourself in their shoes.'

Andrew K. Rindsberg
Geological Survey of Alabama