ConchL Christmas Card

As the New Year and Christmas  and Solstice play out.
we remember the people who've left us no doubt,
Our shellin' adventure has just begun,
what with all of the nature, the science, the fun.
So as plankton, before the wild hurricane floats,
we've holiday  greetings delivered by boats.
First for R. Tucker Abbott, I hope he can hear,
a chorus of angelfish carolling cheer.
For dear ol' Miss Ethel, of fair Tarpum Bay,
some rum-spiked conch chowder, and for Geerat Vermeij.
Mahalo to Mike Schenk, who showed us his knack,
for gathering marlinspikes in a mesh sack .
And for Bobbi Cordy, here's hoping she'll find,
a fortune of nerites, the emerald kind,
For husband Jim, a man rarely speakin'
some new scuba booties, his old ones were leakin'.
Phyllis Sharpe and Claire Beckman and also Ron Nixon,
get a platter of cracked conch with all the fixin's.
Some tinsel for Harry's Berryman and Lee,
and Bob Doyle, some Cyprea under the tree.
We'll send Dr. Simone who studies such things,
a Xenophora who found itself five golden rings.
For Henk Mienis an undersea coral mennorah,
Ellie Lahn gets a guide to Bahamian flora.
And tho' Martin Tremor won't answer our mail,
We found him a beach towel and shovel and pail.
To The Friends of Gastropods and to SCUM,
we'd like to send a sugarplum.
And for hard-to-shop-for Peter Dance,
a set of videos; Sponge Bob Squarepants.
Chris Takehashi rides a surfboard, not the usual sled,
and because the reindeer baulk at surf, he's using seals intead.
For Karen Vander Ven we wanted something really cute,
but settled on a boardgame toy called "Trivia" Pursuit.
For Lynn Scheu & Linda Brunner who ride herd on this list,
Garlands of seaweeds and peppermint twists.
We made a batch of oyster stew, we thought it would be nice,
for Mr. Wesley Thorson and we're shipping it on ice.
Don Barclay and Gian Carol Paganelli and David Touitou,
Get ConeWars action figures, hope they like them, wouldn't you?
There are Strombus stocking stuffers for Paul Monfils and Tom Rice,
it's our way of saying thank for the info and advice.
And though Andrew Rindsberg isn't lately active on the list,
somehow we'd like to let him know how much he has been missed.
We wish new members for the clubs and that Bailey-Matthews place,
we would sure send lots of shells, if we thought they had the space.
To leave out Art Weil and Helmut isn't fair,
so they're both getting snowballs, delivered by air.
For Colin Redfern and Andrew Sharpe,
a holiday melody played on a Harpa.
Peggy Williams and Patty Jansen get some frequent flier miles,
And a Ristra of Spondylus should give Tom Eichhorst some smiles.
For David Kirsh and Charlotte Lloyd, we propose a New Year's toast,
tho' it's not your standard tipple cuz Scotch bonnets are the most.
Ross Mayhew and Marc Agren, Rich Goldberg and Ms. Underwood,
howe'er you spend your holidays, we're wishing that they're good.
Avril Bourquin, Sylvia Edwards, Barney Winston, Guido Poppe,
oh jingle bells and jingle shells and joy and peace and hope.
To the Lipes, a Maytag washer with a setting just for shells,
And we can't forget our families who put up with all the smells,
We know how special they all are and can't see any reason,
not to send  a sailor's valentine, albeit for this season.
To all the folks we meet online, we may not know your face,
you all help make this Conch-L list a very special place.
And if this lengthy doggerel ain't quite your kind of greeting,
well there's button right down there you can use just for deleting.