it's easy!
Each commedian starts with 100 points.
If the wife writes the jokes, add 10 points.
If the commedian has a day job, add 10 points.
If he works for the IRS, he shouldn't be joking - subtract 30 points
If the joke pertains to shells, add 20 points.
If the joke does not pertain to shells, subtract 20 points.
If the joke refers to pigs, subtract 50 points.
Well, you get the idea :-)

Actually I do have a shell-related item to mention.  A while back I sent
some shells to a person, including some nerites.  The other day he e-mailed
me to say that in examining the shells more closely, he found that one of
the nerites had a filed operculum!  Yep, someone had actually taken the time
and effort to file down an operculum, to make it fit in the aperture of the
shell - a shell that sells for about a buck.  Someone must have had time on
his hands!  Actually the shell was from an old collection, so probably the
collector did it himself.  I can't even imagine a commercial supplier of
shells taking the time to do that.  Anyway, question - has anyone else ever
seen any evidence of  "operculum tampering"?  I have received shells with
opercs from a different species.  I have received shells with opercs from a
different family.  I have received shells with opercs that are not even
supposed to have opercs!  But reshaped opercs is a new one on me.  I guess
in addition to filed lips, rebuilt apexes, resharpened spines, filled holes
and cracks, painted patterns, artificially polished surfaces, and glued-on
carrier attachments, we also need to check our specimens for altered opercs!
Paul M.