Good one!  Since we're doing this - how about this molluscan tale...

A man takes his octopus into a bar and says "I'll bet any man here $200
dollars that my octopus can play any musical instrument".  Well, a man
hands the octopus his guitar and the octopus passes it around from
tentatcle to tentacle for awhile, pulling and prodding and peering at it
and finally plays a nice melody on the guitar.  The man wins 200
dollars.  The next night another man brings in a saxophone - again the
octopus passes it from tentacle to tentacle for awhile and finally plays
a nice jazzy riff.  By this time the octopus is getting quite a
reputation.  A scotsman at the bar who has witnessed the last two feats
brings in his bagpipe the third night.  "Ach, then try to play this!" he
says thrusting the contraption at the octopus  Again, the octopus passes
it from tentacle to tentacle, pulling and prodding, peering...pulling
and prodding and peering...pulling and prodding and peering.  "Well play
it!", says the man who owns the octopus, getting a little nervous - "Hey
leave me alone" says the octopus "as soon as I get her pyjamas off,
we're outa here!"

Frank & Donna Robb wrote:

>   Three snails, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic.  So,
>
> Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and
> sandwiches.
> The trouble is, the picnic site is, 10 miles away, so the snails take
> 10 whole days to get there.  By the time they do arrive, everyone's
> whipped. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one.  He takes
> out the sodas and says, 'Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener.'
>
> 'I didn't bring the bottle opener,' Steve says.  'I thought you packed
>
> it.'
>
> Joe gets worried.  He turns to Poncho.  'Poncho, do you have the
> bottle
> opener?'
>
> Naturally, Poncho doesn't have it, so the snails are stuck ten miles
> away from home without soda.
>
> Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho
> flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he
> gets
> back. Somehow, after about two hours, the snails manage to convince
> Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand snails' graves that they
> won't touch the food.
>
> So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steadily.  Twenty days
> pass,
> but no Poncho.  Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is
>
> a promise.  Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is
> a
> promise.  After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve
> starts getting restless.
>
> 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
>
> 'NO!' Joe retorts.  'We promised.' Five more days pass.  Joe realizes
> that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road,
> so the two snails weakly lift the lid ,get a sandwich, and open their
> mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out
> behind a rock, and says, 'Just for that, I'm not going.'