CINCINNATI, OHIO.--Disaster nearly struck this city of one million
inhabitants today as the Flying Pigs returned from their traditional winter
home in the south. As flocks of porkers filled the sky, upheld only by the
literary suspension of disbelief, a moment of doubt crept into the heart of
WKRP news reporter John Schimmelhorn. "I can't believe what I'm seeing!" he
is reported to have exclaimed. In a trice, all of the Flying Pigs plummeted
several feet, some striking roofs and treetops before the reporter
recovered his place in the collective insanity. A few Pigs sprained
ankles--and one poor sow fell on her ear and had to be treated in a flying
hospital--but no permanent damage was done, and the beloved porkers flew
safely to their roosts.
 
"As God is my witness," declared Mr. Schimmelhorn, "I didn't think pigs
could fly."
 
AKR