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To: Alice in (winter) wonderland,
 
> Is there a weather-l? I want to find out who is in charge of the jet stream
> and tell him, no doubt,
 
In Latin (what other language would be appropriate here?) wind in masculine,
and as you know, cartographically speaking, that the wind figures on maps
are males.  From this, we can probably establish that the jet stream is
male.  As for "who is in charge," this is an open question--I would want
to know more about the personal lives of these guys.
 
> to cut it out! I've had my quota of snow days for the
> rest of my life...enough already!
 
Snow, by the way, is feminine, which is probably why men get to shovel
it.
 
> If I wanted more snow, I'd go to
> Lillehammer...
 
Chris from the Northland.