Ideal location for shell collecting. A joke for our times...
An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation.
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the
time of his life....'til the boat sank. The man found himself swept
up on the shore of an island with no other people, no
supplies...Nothing. Only bananas, cones and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In
disbelief, he asks her: "Where did you come from? How did you get
here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed
here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up
with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw
material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gumtree
branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and
stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-- but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools
or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of
the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.
I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it
melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools
to make the hardware.
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place, " she says. After a few minutes of
rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto
shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk
leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While
the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house,
she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please;
would you like to have a drink?"
"No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut
juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How
about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they
sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their
stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more
comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a
razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells
honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a
swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but
vines and a shell necklace --strategically positioned-- and smelling
smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins, suggestively, slithering closer to him,
"we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's
something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
been longing for all these months? You know... " She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean-- ?", he replies, "--I
can check my e-mail from here?"
====================================================================
=========================================
Bruce, Dianne, Andrew and Erica LIVETT
48 Nicholas Street
Ashburton
VICTORIA 3147
AUSTRALIA
==========================================
Telephone at home : +61-3-9885-2947
Work: +61-3-9344-5911 Fax: +61-3-9347-7730
|
