Thought the following might be better than nothing.  
 
"CONTRADICTIONS:
 
Why are they called buildings when they're already
finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
 
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
 
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
 
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
 
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
 
War doesn't determine who's right ..... just who's left.
 
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?
 
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of
everything outdoors?
 
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not
a door?
 
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.  Tell
him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
 
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
 
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
 
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
 
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
 
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
 
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
 
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
 
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
 
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
 
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
 
How can someone "draw a blank"?
 
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
 
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
 
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
 
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
 
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
 
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
 
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
 
HAVE A NICE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.  
 
Betty Jean, The Tall One.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Betty Jean Piech    
Hockessin DE,USA
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_@/-The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.-\@_
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