THIS IS AN HOAX - SUCH A VIRUS CANNOT BE EXIST!
 
 
 
  *** The Goodtimes Email Virus ***
 
          Goodtimes will rewrite your hard drive.  Not only that, but
          it will scramble any disks that are even close to your
          computer.  It will recalibrate your refrigerator's
          thermostat so that all your ice cream melts.  It will
          demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up
          the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to
          scratch any CDs you try to play.  It will give your
          ex-girlfriend your new phone number.  It will mix Kool-Aid
          in your fishtank.  It will drink all your beer and leave its
          socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
          over.  It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your
          good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for
          work.
 
          Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin.  It
          will give you nightmares about circus midgets.  It will pour
          sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows
          while dating your current girlfriend behind your back and
          billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.  Such
          is the power of Goodtimes: it reaches out beyond the grave
          to sully those things we hold most dear.
 
          Goodtimes moves your car randomly around parking lots so you
          can't find it.  It will kick your dog.  It will leave
          libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
          It is insidious and subtle.  It is dangerous and terrifying
          to behold.  It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
 
          Goodtimes will give you Dutch elm disease.  It will make a
          batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub and then leave
          bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
          gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
 
          Listen to me.  Goodtimes does not exist.  It cannot do
          anything to you.  But I can.  I am sending this message to
          everyone in the world.  Tell your friends, tell your family.
          If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake
          Goodtimes virus, I will turn hating them into a religion.  I
          will do things to them that would make a horse's head in your
          bed look like Sunday brunch.
 
 
I did not create the above, and I don't know who did, but I send it out
every time I receive an email virus warning.
 
 
CIAO FROM ITALY
Riccardo Giannuzzi-Savelli