----------------------------Original message---------------------------- Subject: airline anomalies (fwd) >>Reservations of an Airline Agent >>(After Surviving 130,000 Calls from the Traveling Public) >>by Jonathan Lee -- The Washington Post >> >>I work in a central reservation office of an airline. After more than >>130,000 conversations--all ending with "Have a nice day and thanks for >>calling"--I think it's fair to say that I'm a survivor. >> >>I've made it through all the calls from adults who didn't know the >>difference between a.m. and p.m., from mothers of military recruits who >>didn't trust their little soldiers to get it right, from the woman who >>called to get advice on how to handle her teenage daughter, from the >>man who wanted to ride inside the kennel with his dog so he wouldn't >>have to pay for a seat, from the woman who wanted to know why she had >>to change clothes on our flight between Chicago and Washington (she was >>told she'd have to make a change between the two cities) and from the >>man who asked if I'd like to discuss the existential humanism that >>emanates from the soul of Habeeb. >> >>In five years, I've received more than a boot camp education regarding >>the astonishing lack of awareness of our American citizenry. This lack >>of awareness encompasses every region of the country, economic status, >>ethnic background, and level of education. My battles have included >>everything from a man not knowing how to spell the name of the town he >>was from, to another not recognizing the name as "Iowa" as being a >>state, to another who thought he had to apply for a foreign passport to >>fly to West Virginia. They are the enemy and they are everywhere. >> >>In the history of the world there has never been as much communication >>and new things to learn as today. Yet, after asking a woman from New >>York what city she wanted to go to in Arizona, she asked, "Oh... is it >>a big place?" >> >>I talked to a woman in Denver who had never heard of Cincinnati, a man >>in Minneapolis who didn't know there was more than one city in the >>South ("wherever the South is"), a woman in Nashville who asked, >>"Instead of paying for your ticket, can I just donate the money to the >>National Cancer Society?", and a man in Dallas who tried to pay for his >>ticket by sticking quarters in the pay phone he was calling from. >> >>I knew a full invasion was on the way when, shortly after signing on, a >>man asked if we flew to exit 35 on the New Jersey Turnpike. Then a >>woman asked if we flew to area code 304. And I knew I had been shipped >>off to the front when I was asked, "When an airplane comes in, does >>that mean it's arriving or departing?" >> >>I remembered the strict training we had received--four weeks of >>regimented classes on airline codes, computer technology, and telephone >>behavior--and it allowed for no means of retaliation. "Troops," we >>were told, "it's real hell out there and ya got no defense. You're >>going to hear things so silly you can't even make 'em up. You'll try >>to explain things to your friends that you don't even believe yourself, >>and just when you think you've heard it all, someone will ask if they >>can get a free round-trip ticket to Europe by reciting 'Mary Had a >>Little Lamb." >> >>Well, Sarge was right. It wasn't long before I suffered a direct hit >>from a woman who wanted to fly to Hippopotamus, NY. After assuring her >>that there was no such city, she became irate and said it was a big >>city with a big airport. I asked if Hippopotamus was near Albany or >>Syracuse. It wasn't. Then I asked if it was near Buffalo. "Buffalo!" >>she said. "I knew it was a big animal!" >> >>Then I crawled out of my bunker long enough to be confronted by a man >>who tried to catch our flight in Maconga. I told him I'd never heard >>of Maconga and we certainly didn't fly to it. But he insisted we did >>and to prove it he showed me his ticket: Macon, GA. And I've done nothing >>during my conversational confrontations to indicate that I couldn't >>understand English. But after I quote the round-trip fare the >>passenger just asked for, he'll always ask: "...Is that round trip?" >>After I quote the one-way fare the passenger just asked for, he'll >>always, always ask: "...Is that one-way?" I never understood why >>they always question if what I just gave them is what they just >>asked for. Then I realized it was part of the hell Sarge told us about. >> >>But I've survived to direct the lost, correct the wrong, comfort the >>wary, teach U.S. geography and give tutoring in the spelling and >>pronunciation of American cities. I have been told things like: "I >>can't go stand-by for your flight because I'm in a wheelchair." I've >>been asked such questions as: "I have a connecting flight to Knoxville. >> Does that mean the plane sticks to something?" And once a man wanted >>to go to Illinois. When I asked what city he wanted to go to in >>Illinois, he said, "Cleveland, Ohio." >> >>After 130,000 little wars of varying degrees, I'm a wise old veteran of >>the communication conflict and can anticipate with accuracy what the >>next move by "them" will be. Seventy-five percent won't have anything >>to write on. Half will not have thought about when they're returning. >>A third won't know where they're going; 10 percent won't care where >>they're going. A few won't care if they get back. And James will be >>the first name of half the men who call. >> >>But even if James doesn't care if he gets to the city he never heard >>of; even if he thinks he has to change clothes on our plane that may >>stick to something; even if he can't spell, pronounce, or remember >>what city he's returning to, he'll get there because I've worked very >>hard to make sure that he can. Then with a click in the phone, he'll >>become a part of my past and I'll be hoping the next caller at least >>knows what day it is. >> >>Oh, and James... "Thanks for calling and have a nice day." >> >-- Saved internet headers (useful for debugging) >Received: from nak.berkeley.edu by ucsd.edu; id LAA15330 sendmail 8.6.9/UCSD-2. >Received: from library.berkeley.edu by nak.berkeley.edu (8.6.8.1/1.40) id LAA21 >Received: by library.berkeley.edu; (5.65/1.1.8.2/29Oct94-1209AM) id AA06746; We >Date: Wed, 16 Nov 1994 11:31:53 -0800 (PST) >From: Walter Brem <[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: airline anomalies (fwd) >Message-Id: <[log in to unmask]> >Mime-Version: 1.0 >Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII >X-CCaddr: To: doug stewart AT ucsdlibrary